Y entonces...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

And another day is gone. Today wasn’t as relaxing as Saturday but it was just as great. I woke up around 9am and it was a beautiful day outside. I went and laid in the hammock for about an hour reading and then went on a morning walk with Mike, one of the other volunteers. We walked around Cusmapa and then went to the highest point in town to overlook the mountains.



The evening before was eventful. After making our homemade calzones we played some yatzee and then proceeded to dress up as pirates. There are some pictures included in this blog. As you can tell some of us could look like men if we had the correct hormones.




The other two volunteers visiting, Kate & Mike, went back to Somoto today. I joined them on the bus. I was able to get off in El Cipion, the community just before Quebrada Honda. (The community I was living in last year) I hiked up to my old community. It took me about thirty minutes to get there and I enjoyed every second of. The walk is surrounded with mountains and trees. I am really not into nature very much but I am into being able to go on a walk and not seeing/hearing a car or a cell phone. What did amaze me was that I was able to see the new cell phone tower that was just recently placed in Cusmapa. Yes, there is cell phone service here now this adds to the wireless Internet service but the town is still lacking clean water! I hope you are saying to yourself seriously? I am very serious! =D

As I made my way up the mountain I was just about to reach the highest point before it drops into the town. I ran into this woman who was taking her time getting up the mountain. She was very old and was using a walking cane. I couldn’t just pass her by and not say hello. Well a gracious hello turned into a long conversation about where I was from, where I was going and what I was doing in Nicaragua. Just as a reminder, I don’t speak Spanish very well! The other side of the mountain was in sight and as I came over it I was greeted with Hola Estefania! There is a woman who I would visit almost every day she was always very gracious. I have a great photograph of her going in to my upcoming show. It turns out; She was wearing the exact same dress that she was in, in the photograph in my show. I sat with her and her daughter and their grandchildren on their front porch for about 15 minutes. I then explained to them that I would be back for a couple of days later in the week. As I ventured down the road I ran into some of my students who recognized me and others who didn’t. I got to the end of the main road, that dead ends into some houses. My friend Trino and his family lives there. He was my next stop. I had a nice conversation with him in his living room. He allowed me to sit in the chair and hey sat on some bags filled with fertilizer. I am not sure why he has fertilizer but if I re-call correctly, that is what the bag said. After seeing Trino I traveled to Melvin and Ena’s house. Both work at the school and I was able to become very good friends with them during my first visit. Their son Sammy was there, he is about six years old now. Him and I went on a walk up to Bayardo’s house. Bayardo is the director of the oratorio in Quebrada Honda. I was then able to sit and visit with Bayardo in front of the school and chat about what is new in QH. It was a very shot visit but so wonderful to see all of my old friends. I am returning to stay with them all for about 2 full days. It isn’t enough time but it will be sufficient.

Bienviendo Estafania a Nicaragua!

In a world that seems to be standing so still many changes take place in this barren environment. With a third of my trip over already I am taking in the sunshine during the day while watching the clouds pass in sky. The nights are very cold here in Cusmapa. I am happy to report I am staying in a very nice place and surrounded by wonderful people! The bed I am sleeping in doesn’t slope and the toilet is indoors and flushes 98% of the time. Coming back into this lifestyle has been a struggle. I find myself extremely overcautious about the hygiene of the facilities around me! Unfortunately, that will make a person crazy in this place!

I arrived Thursday evening. I left 19-degree weather in Colorado and ended up in 82-degree weather with about 70% humidity in Managua. To say the least, I was sweating my butt off. That evening I stayed with Dona Helena, she is the Director of the English program for Fabretto. She lives in a small apartment in Managua. There is no air conditioning and barely any water! I was so hot when my flight landed that I asked to take a shower right away. A cold shower had never felt so incredible!! As I laid down that evening it was only 10pm, 9pm Colorado- After all of that traveling I was wide awake! Fortunately, I was able to watch some TV and cool off with a fan blowing on me. The next morning I was reminded of how awful Managua is. It was 730 am and I swear it was already 90 degrees! When my computer told me it was only 78 degrees I wanted to get out of that city as soon as possible. To my surprise my friend Callie has come to Managua to a meeting and was able to meet me at the Fabretto Headquarters in Managua. I am grateful for this because Fabretto wasn’t taking another vehicle up north until Monday and I’ll be damned if I was going to stay in that heat!!



Callie arrived with her boyfriend and I was overcome with joy to see her! We then headed to the bus stop. I put my luggage underneath the bus and we got on the first bus from Managua to Somoto. This bus ride was going to take about 3.5 hours- No problem! It was a nice bus and my luggage was in a safe place! We arrived in Somoto at about 3:00 and had an hour until our next bus from Somoto to Cusmapa. We decided to go into a restaurant. I went to use the restroom, when I came out to the sink was taken by a Nicaraguan male. He asked me what my name was and then grabbed my hand. While I was trying to make a run for it he kept getting closer and closer and closer! He was speaking to me in Spanish, I don’t speak Spanish well enough to understand what he was saying and then I heard me gusta a ti and I am sure my eyes got really big then he said something else and the encanta came out. Encanta means love. I wish I could speak Spanish really well. I would of replied with “Love me? Are you kidding? You don’t even know me!!” He then followed me to our table and sat with us for a while. Callie was able to talk to him a little bit. He sat with us until we left and kept telling Callie that I should stay in Nica longer. I can’t say I am not flattered by it- But give me a break. Us ladies we always want prince charming to come running towards us, push us against a wall and say I am in love with you. This is not what I had pictured that situation ever looking like! We left the restaurant and went to get on the next bus. This bus, we knew, was going to be hell. The road from Somoto is all dirt with large rocks in the road! From Somoto to the base of the community I was living in last year it is only 21km. It usually takes over an hour to get there. Lucky for us- it took almost two and a half to get there! We finally arrived in Cusmapa at about 8pm that night. Why did it take us that long you ask? As we left Somoto we stopped at almost every block to pick up more people to take to Cusmapa. The bus was packed people standing in the isles and sitting on top of the bus. My luggage was on top of the bus and when we arrived at Callie’s house I started to unpack. Unfortunately, I found that my tennis shoes, a pair of flip-flops and the pump for my exercise ball had been stolen! YES! MY SHOES WERE GONE!! Luckily, I was carrying another pair of hiking shoes with me so I have something to climb through the mountains with. I couldn’t believe it! I will assume that whoever has them needs them more than I do. Seeing, as they were my old tennis shoes.



Today was very relaxing. It warmed up at about noon. I laid in my friend’s hammock and read a large majority of The Kite Runner, the book I am currently reading. It’s a sad book- That is just a side note- I am not sure if I will be able to finish it here due to it’s constant lack for anything happy happening in it! Y que mas? There are two other voluntaries en Cusmapa this weekend! Kate and Mike. Tonight we are making Calzones for dinner. I will have to get back to you on how they turn out. We were able to go and watch the sunset this evening and just finished a dance party with four of Callie and Lauren’s students. They are some crazy kiddos! Callie and Lauren made a book of photographs for a local family in town. We delivered those photos this evening. The family has 5 children. They use to have 6 but lost one of their boys to a bad injection. Yes, a bad shot took a child’s life! The family lives in a house with one bedroom, a living room and a kitchen. I assume the restroom is outdoors. The father of the family is around all of the time. This is very rare for Nicaraguan husbands and fathers. When we arrived the entire family gathered around to enjoy the photographs. They only had a few photographs of their children before but now will be able to share these photographs for years to come!



Tomorrow I am going to travel down the mountain to visit Quebrada Honda, the town I was living in last year. I hope to visit for the afternoon and join them for Mass in Las Sabanas. Then back on the bus! ARG!

I hope to travel to one of the extreme rural communities with Lauren on Monday. Lauren is one of my dear friends from high school who moved here last September. After Monday, I hope to return to Quebrada Honda and stay the night for one or two nights- I will then have one more night here in Cusmapa. Then, I will head down to Esteli with Callie and Lauren for a weekend there! Next Sunday, I will be returning to Managua and have the chance to make a trip to the city dump where over 3,000 people live.

Stay tuned for more…

The Queen of The Broken Scoop

When I was arrived in Managua and was told I was going to be in Quebrada Honda I was told I would also be the Queen of Quebrada Honda. How true that was. It also turns out that in Spanish Quebrada Honda means Broken Scoop. For those of you who do not know, I am leaving Nicaragua. The doctors here cannot cure me from whatever I have and I pray that my doctor at home can. Therefore, this will be my last blog, just incase someone is still checking.

I have been nothing but overwhelmed the last nine weeks, emotionally and physically. I have seen extreme poverty and in the midst of it all generous people who would literally give you the shirt off their back or the rosary on their wrist. I have learned so many things about the world and myself. I believe even more will become evident as I return to the land of excess and opportunity. If there was one thing I could ask for more of…it’s time. Where does the time go? When I got here I wanted more time with my family and now that I am leaving I want more time in my town and with the children. They were just starting to give me hugs and hang on me all day long. They took an interest in me, probably because I always had a camera around my neck, I think they liked me and now I have left them. How do we all take time for granted? In Quebrada Honda there was nothing but time for me to just throw myself in. My first couple of weeks there I was just testing the water with my feet and never was able to fully immerse myself. Why? I was too scared to let go of home. Now that I am returning home, what I would give for more time in my broken scoop. Since the Queen’s butt is broken she will be returning tonight at 11:25pm to Denver International Airport.

I hope you all have enjoyed reading this and I am sorry it has come to an end. Thank you for all of your love, support and prayers. I love you all and can’t wait to see you and share more of my experience with you !!

When it rains, it pours....

Greetings! Bienvenido! Today has been the second day of rain. I think it is funny how people react the same all over the world when there is bad weather. Everyone has been really tired here and not wanting to work because it has been cloudy and crappy. I am usually that way too but today I was excited to see it. Why? Because it felt like home. I got up and put on my jeans and an undershirt and a sweater, grabbed my north face fleece and went out to face the world!! HA! All I had to do was walk across the street in the mud! There are a lot of other people who make a three mile trek one way just to get to school! I will be honest…I just would not go. =D The cold is also very relevant, I think it was 40 degrees or something like that and I had the same coat on that I did when I left Colorado and it was 3 degrees! Funny right? Using the restroom last night in the rain was not my idea of fun either! So far my roof does not seem to be leaking. It is not the rainy season yet though. I finished my anti-biotics today! Yea! One more thing behind me!! Unfortunately, my dear friend Henry has had to go into Managua because his sister has become very ill. He is not coming back until next Monday! UGH! Please keep her in your prayers!! He is my best friend around these parts and not having him here is going to be just another obstacle!

Today was kinda a funny day too. My friend Oliver, from the peace, corp came into town. He teaches a business class on Tuesday’s to the high school group. He is from Chicago and speaks English…obviously! We get along pretty well and I think I am going to be able to out with him and some of his friends this weekend in Somoto! Which is excellent!! Gives me something to do!! I plan on drinking a lot of water and getting a lot of rest, wink, wink. Anyways… When he comes into town we end up talking quite a bit because well we speak the same language. Which means we eat lunch together when he is here and he helps me with things that I can’t translate yet and so on. Anyways, Ena, the woman who taught me how to make tortillas told him that he should marry me so I would stop being so sad. Oddly enough I understood her and I am sure I just turned red, I think Oliver did too. Then she told me that my thighs were fat. My friend Trino told me that my face was fat the other day. That is just kinda how things go here. They tell you the truth or some part of the truth. I really wanted to reply and be like…yeah…well I might be fat but one day I will be skinny and you will still be ugly. But number one I don’t know how to say that in Spanish and number two she isn’t ugly. I just laughed. Oliver was like nothing to worry about in Nicaragua it means that you are healthy and he clarified that with her and she just shook her head no and laughed. Then she went on to say that I don’t eat much because I don’t want to get fat. They are all like a family that says too much about you. Don Bayardo told Oliver that I didn’t like the food. I like the food!! If I didn’t I wouldn’t eat it!! I had an infection in my intestines because of it!! They are lucky I am still eating it at all!! I can’t really afford to feed myself three meals a day and well I don’t want to cook that much either so I eat and it is good. I do always say no to the salad though. We had some kind of vegetable mush today it was really great. We had chicken and vegetables yesterday. Usually have rice and beans for breakfast and dinner. I have other things to make for dinner like macaroni and cheese, and peanut butter and jelly, and top ramen and I just purchased some canned tuna so I can start making tuna salad. What I would give for a Cheeseburger!! I did buy bread, milk, jelly, tuna, mayonnaise, mustard and a cold chocolate milk at the store today for less then ten dollars!! Amazing right?

We ended up taking Oliver back into Somoto this afternoon and we talked a lot about being in Nicaragua and different things we struggle with here. A funny subject did come up though. There are a lot of animals running around here. Hens, rooster, dogs, cats, donkeys, cattle and horses. Anyways, because of, well I am not really sure what, you see animals having sex at least twice a week. All you can do is watch too. It makes you feel incredibly uncomfortable; especially with the roosters they just have their way with the hens and leave them. Before you know it, it is over and you are like what just happened? Well I leave you with that!

I was finished there until another greatly funny story just happened. I was going out to use the out house and the door was open and I was thinking to myself that I have been lucky so far that I have not walked by any of the guys peeing or anything. I share my outhouse and shower with four men. And they don’t use the outhouse to pee. I wouldn’t either but I can’t imagine what would bit my butt. Anyways, the door was open so I was like no one is in there…then I thought it’s too bad there isn’t a light to say busy or something. Yeah…I know I am lame I just don’t have anything else to do with my thoughts!! So I went to go in and there Freddy was just taking a dump…ay!!! I just busted out laughing and couldn’t move from that spot. He laughed too and Don Bayardo came out of his house to see what was going on! Oh life just keeps getting better around here!! Me Voy! I have to use the restroom…

Here are some pictures I have been meaning to post but our internet has been a little too slow for them


This is a picture of me and one of my students


These are some of the boys are the school


This is my center

So lonely...

What an amazing day…well afternoon I had today. I had been feeling lonely and sorry for myself on Saturday and so I decided to watch Under the Tuscan Sun, which kept me up until 11. I was really hoping that I would be able to sleep in then…so then I wouldn’t have to get up and find something to do. Well it turns out I was wide awake at seven thirty. Ugh, I had plans to go and make tortilla’s a new friends house, but I wasn’t suppose to be there until ten. Yeah…that’s a lot of time to waste. I thought about going out with my camera but I have been almost tackled by all of the kids when I go out! I wish they would just pretend like I wasn’t there and let me shoot. I mean it happens even when I don’t have my camera. I hear a child always yelling “Gringa” or “Hello” or “How are you my friend?”…so I am hardly invisible!! I ended up going and making tortillas and it only took us until ten thirty!! Then Ena and I went and looked at my neighbor Freddy’s new house. Ena is married to Melvin one of the guys who works at the school. If any of you know my friend Gabe just compare him to Melvin! Melvin cracks me up and he would do anything for you!! He’s so funny though. His wife also works in the kitchen at school and goes to school on Saturday’s with the other scholarship kids. She gave me two eggs that her chickens had laid (just had them for dinner…best eggs I have ever had!) and told me to come back whenever I get lonely. So afterwards I came up to my house and I am pretty sure I cried for about three hours straight. I have started reading this book about Zen and living in the now and not day dreaming about the future. I day dream a lot here…like about when I get to go home that oh the pictures I will have…but then it talks about how much you are missing! Well of course!! I just broke down and cried! Not to worry things got better!! Then it was time for mass. Well…I haven’t really liked Mass here…at all. I have hated going every weekend and started just standing in the back because I was tired of feeling like everyone is starring at me. Today we got there early because the boys from our center played the music. I was actually able to get a seat and two members of Trino’s family came over and sat next to me. Trino’s daughter and his sister to be exact, well his daughter had this great hand made rosary on her wrist and I told her that I liked it and she gave it to me!! I was like what? Why? I was floored!! Mass was actually very beautiful too. I am not sure what changed my mind…maybe because I wasn’t day dreaming about home? Then his sister invited me over after mass because the day before I said I liked her dress…well guess what? She gave it to me along with another one!! I have not seen kindness like that since I have been here. I think in America we can’t just show up at someone else’s house and be like I’m going to hang out…but here…it seems like that is what you have to do. There is a little old woman who always asks me when I am going to come back. I really like her and I can understand her pretty well.

Oh! On the truck ride back from church I ended up in the back…standing up…yeah that might be a line crosser…I haven’t decided yet. Anyways me and my monkey arms reached the OH SHIT bar at the top of the truck so I had something to hold on to. Well one of my students, she is a neighbor too, was standing in the back of the truck and she looked pretty uneasy about it…I gave her my hand during the first part but that wasn’t enough she ended up standing up next to me and put her arms around my waist to hold on. She is only 13 or 14 I am not sure and I think it was funny that she trusted me in the back of the truck, I don’t ride in the back of trucks! I don’t know what I am doing!

Not much else going on…I ended up going to the doctor last week because I was tired of having my chronic case of the runs, turned out I had an infection in my intestines. They gave me three shots in my ass and some antibiotics and sent me on my way. I feel a thousand times better!! I think everyone around here gets shots in their butts. There is some virus/cold/infection going on and I am not the only one who has had a shot in my butt this week. =D Hopefully not much of that will go on again this week…and hopefully never again for me!!

I Walk the Line

I think we all have lines in life. Ones to cross and ones we don’t dare even think about crossing. When I first came to Nicaragua there were a lot of lines that I had never dreamed of crossing or ever thought I would have to cross. That might be a little dramatic…but maybe it makes the story better. I had some line crossing and not crossing experiences this weekend. For example, my dear friend Henry and his two girlfriends who don’t even know about each other. I do not think I was suppose to know about the one here…but when people talk around you and they think you don’t know what they are saying you can actually pick up on some pretty good stuff. Like Henry and his multiple girlfriends. I had a slight crush on my new friend and two girlfriends is definitely a line I will never cross. The most frustrating thing is that he lied about it!! It’s not even that he lied about having a girlfriend, it’s that he seems to be the one person who I can trust and who actually wants to get to know me and he lied to me!! As much as I would really not like to talk to him for a long time I have to put it into perspective that he is probably my only friend here. When I say here, I mean in Quebrada Honda. I have actually made a lot of amazing friends they just live all over the country!! There are two girls who also teach English for Fabretto. One is located in Esteli, which is four hours from here and the other works in Somoto. They are both Nicaraguans and speak English. They are amazing women!!

Back to line walking… On Friday I decided to take a trip up to Cusmapa for the weekend to hang out with Callie. It was wonderful! When I got down to the bus stop an ambulance was going through and I decided to hitch hike my way up there. You are probably thinking I am crazy…but here I believe it is crazier to cram yourself in a bus that is 30 people over capacity, getting over charged because I am white and having to stand for over an hour. Granted it doesn’t sound that bad compared to death from hitch hiking…but that is just the way things are here. You can walk for miles and miles, wait for a bus which might not show up or you can hitch a ride. The man was very nice and funny and it was a free trip. He was saying something about his children and how he wasn’t married and something along the lines of a gringa… Maybe he proposed? I am not really sure…when situations like that happen I just say I don’t understand.

More line walking today…I have been sick with intense violent diarrhea for almost five weeks now…on and off. Well, I decided to put my foot down today and go to the doctor in Somoto. My health is not something I should walk the line with…especially here. So…went to the doctor…this one was a thousand times cleaner then the first one I had to go and see. He checked out my stomach and did an ultrasound and well…I have an infection in my intestines. Yeah…sick right? He gave me medicine then explained to me that I was going to need three shots in my ass. I had to go down the street to buy the medicine and then return with it so they could give it to me. Well the nurse/receptionist gave it to me and I really think it was probably the whitest butt she has ever seen. Turns out I need three shots all together. I have to get one more tomorrow and then on Thursday. It was my understanding I would be taken to the dirty clinic in Las Sabanas, which I guess is fine. As long as I see it is a clean needle I have nothing to worry about right? Then it was my understanding that I was going to be taken to Somoto again to get my shot. Fine! I don’t care! As long as I get it. THEN…I was told that some guy in the town in going to do it. THERE IS THE LINE!! NO! That is just what I need people talking about the gringa’s butt and how WHITE it is! Drop my pants in front of someone who works at the school…and it is not like there are confidentiality laws here!! It isn’t like I can just say no to this one either…I can say no to the salad and the juice and the water but infections…that’s just another line I won’t cross!

An Oasis con Polgas

As I find myself sitting and writing again. I hear my friend Callie’s choir class singing in the background. They are an amazing group. There are a lot of problems here in Nicaragua that I find myself running into. Since I live such a privileged life in this third world country I find myself getting mixed up in my own “Americanisms”, which aren’t necessarily bad but they do seem to stand in my way in keeping on track why I am here.

Today, my boss, Peter, who is one of the most amazing genuine men I have ever met explained to me that the center in Quebrada Honda has been turned into the lost child of Fabretto. Why in the world God placed me there out of all of the people in the world I can’t figure out!! It scares me to death that I have the opportunity to help turn a center around for the organization. It is mind-boggling! Which leads to me just trying to get by day in and day out with no real change…just surviving like I would in the states. Just to pass the time.

There is another group visiting our areas right now and they are the most good hearted lovely people I have ever met. They are a group from The Tin-Roof Foundation who helps with different projects here in Nicaragua. The most amazing thing I have ever seen happened this afternoon. I will get to that in one moment. The group picked me up the yesterday and I went up to Cusmapa with them where I learned about a family who lives in a house smaller then my room at my house in America. This family has seven people living in the house. The adult in the household is a woman who has children of her own and I believe some grandchildren. When Peter has spoke to her before she has said that she never learned how to read or write but she wanted her kids and her grandkids to have more of an education so she did so she takes care of all of them. Her son is on a scholarship right now attending one of the local universities and she is at home taking care of the house and the children. The children come to school everyday and I have been so wrapped up in myself that I do not even know how the children I teach live. They all come to school in uniforms so you cannot tell by looking at them individually that they might have more or less money then the student living next to them. I find it to be a good thing because I think I would try to cater to the kids who have less and that isn’t fair to anyone. While Peter was telling us this story my eyes welled up and that’s when I realized the extreme poverty I am working in. How can a person over look such a thing? I know I have been the last couple of weeks maybe because the pain is too much to bare. I mean…I cry because I miss my mom here and children are starving…but they come to school everyday with a smile on their faces. As I said goodbye to one of the woman today as they dropped me off she said “You have to go more then halfway with these people, because no matter what they are going to love you and then you are going to leave them”. She is so right. My time here is temporary but how do I really get involved with the community and make something change? People always tell you that if you can help one child then your time has been worth it…but one child doesn’t feel like enough to me. Another man who was traveling with us said that it was such a blessing to have the centers in these rural areas like we do because compared to where they live the centers are like oasis’s for the children to come and be at and have a good meal. It is also an oasis for me. If I had to stay in my tool shed all day long I would go crazy. Oh…and my boss finally admitted it was the old tool shed. It only took him three weeks. =)

The most amazing experience of my life happened today. The woman who runs the music program in Cusmapa has a young six year old child who suffered from a stroke when she was an infant. It has left her paralyzed in her left leg from the knee down. Her foot is turned in a little over 90 degrees and she can’t put weight on it at all. She has a wheelchair but how do you use a wheel chair with no sidewalks, dirt roads, no ramps, and no transportation for wheelchairs. Her mother carried her up to see the doctor in the group and he looked at her foot and said that it was fixable. Why hadn’t this been taken care of before? This is my assumption but I do not think the doctors in Cusmapa knew what to do and even if they did her mother can’t afford an operation. As the doctor told her it would be fixable and she could be walking within a year of the operation her mother bursted into tears of happiness. Her daughter told her not to cry. Due to the stress this has had on her mother she has been ill lately with headaches. The doctor also things it is linked to her worrying about her six year old daughter all of the time. I had never seen such happiness come over someone in my life. She praised God and thanked the doctor. I was in tears, so was Callie and I think my good ol’ friend Peter was a little choked up himself.

Maybe you are wondering what polgas are by now? Well polgas are fleas. I have fleas. Yes, it is not a joke it is the truth. The unfortunate truth. I think they might be in my bed. I am not sure. They are disgusting though. I mean really disgusting. I found one in my shirt the other day and showed it to my friends and they all just started laughing at me. Tomorrow I am going to wash my sheets and put my mattress in the sun and use a lot of raid in my room. It is actually pretty funny. And it is better then Malaria or Dengue Fever so I can’t really complain!! Well! Hope all is well at home and you are enjoying the snow! God Bless you all! And a very Happy Ash Wednesday!